What Do You Say to the Girl Who's Not Pretty?

"The photos are nice, I just think they made you look so masculine... You're just so pretty. I wish they would've captured that."

Photographer: Steve Squall, Stylist: Megan Wilde, Set Design: Gunnar Deathrage, Make Up: Isidro Valencia

The afore mentioned comment was made in reference to my photos in STORY Magazine. As the comment was made, everything in me wanted to roll my eyes, puff my chest out and give a piece of my curiously progressive mind. Instead, I took a moment to pause and think...deep breath in and out...and I responded, "The photos are exactly what I wanted."

My Secret Recipe for Time

Time. We all want more of it right? We try to fit as much as we can into every hour, minute, and second of the day, and it seems that no matter how much squeezing we do, there is always more to be done.

Lately, I've had quite a few people ask me, "How do you do it?" And interestingly enough, I find myself wondering the same thing. So, I figured I'd write out some thing to share! Here we go!

East End Barbershop Talk

Last week, I went to the barbershop for a haircut, for the first time. I walked in and was greeted by two barbers sitting in the front of the shop, talking and looking out the storefront window, people watching perhaps. Mr. James was the barber I was there to see. I'd attempted to cut my own hair earlier in the week and while I did an okay job, I definitely needed a professional touch to clean it up. Mr. James took me to his chair in the back of the shop and got me all prepped for the cut/clean up that was about to happen. He was great. I showed him pictures of what I was going for and we discussed it a bit. I felt comfortable and I trusted him and his clippers.

Well, if you've ever been to a (black) barbershop, you know there is always a conversation going. These conversations can be about anything, from Beyonce vs. Kelly Rowland to immigration reform. I didn't expect much "barbershop talk" considering it was only me and Mr. James- I was the last client of the day.  I figured we would have the general "Where are you from? What do you do?" type of talk...nothing really substantial enough to carry out a full blown conversation, but at least enough to break an awkward silence and show interest in someone other than yourself and whatever form of social media you may be scrolling through on your phone. The conversation started out that way, with the typical questions and answers, but it did not take long to escalate into something beyond the usual small talk..

And About That Time I Threw a Surprise Party for Myself...

When I was in the fourth grade, I threw a surprise slumber party for myself.
And the best present I got that year, was an invaluable life lesson.
I know exactly what you're thinking... "Why wasn't I that cool when I was in the fourth grade?!?"  Right? Or... "How is it a surprise if you threw it for yourself?" Well, basically, if I told you how I managed to pull that off, I would be giving away one of my secrets to awesome, so you'll have to buy the book for that :)

For Today's Graduate...Here's My Two Cents

Today, another round of Berea College students become Berea College Alumni. This one's for you.

1. YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU MADE IT!!!
-I know sometimes it can seem like Graduation Day is just an oasis off in the distance that you will never really quite reach, especially if you received any letters or emails from Financial Aid or Academic Services in the last 3-4 weeks. And if you did receive one of those letters, believe me, I know you were probably ready to burn Lincoln Hall down to the ground. I know. But now, look at you- standing tall on your graduation day with no record of arson to follow you across the stage. Congratulations!
2. I am incredibly proud of you. Incredibly.
-You are graduating from college.You're automatically amazing. That's just what happens. You go Glenn CoCo.
3. The world awaits you. Take that with a grain of salt...and a lime.
-Yes, you graduated and that makes you automatically amazing, but sometimes, the world is not prepared for all of the awesome that is about to hit them, and we are not always so prepared for the world's unpreparedness for our awesome. Take that with a grain of salt and a lime, but be careful with that because...

I Am Perfect

I used to think that I was supposed to embrace my flaws. 

But then I realized that I am perfect.

Calling something a flaw implies that there is something wrong- it is imperfect. But who is to say what is perfect and what is flawed? Why should we subscribe to any opinion or thought other than our own? You never knew you were imperfect until someone told you that you were. You never called it a flaw until someone or something else changed your perception of perfection from who you naturally are to who you should try to be.

That pimple on your cheek- perfect.

The chickenpox scar on your forehead- perfect.

The dry skin in the crevice of your nose- perfect.

The one eyebrow that arches much less than than the other- perfect.

You. Your soul. Your everything. You're beautiful. You're perfect.

#TheConsciousSelfie

Started as a Facebook Rant, Now We Here...

This post started out as a facebook rant, which I don't do often, but as you can see...it is entirely too long for that. So I just copied and pasted it into a blog.
PLEASE BE ADVISED: I used the caps lock button a few times throughout this post. Also, this post is about 92% honesty, curiosity, and hopes of expanding perspectives... and only about 7% sardonic and sarcastic. 

Okay...so, this is an official facebook rant. (well, it was...now it's a blog post)

Titus and Beyonce and Me...and You.

I remember the first time I heard Beyoncé's "Pretty Hurts". I was offended. And then I watched the visual for the song. I was mad.


For those of you who don't know: I love Beyoncé. And one day, Beyoncé and I will be best friends. I know many people have set this goal in life, but let it be known that I am at the top of Beyoncé's "Future Best Friends" List. She told me. I suppose that is a Beyoncé-lover disclaimer of sorts.
So, back to "Pretty Hurts". I listened to the song and I watched the video and my initial thoughts were as follows: "Oh no she didn't! Did Beyoncé just try to come for me and all my pageant ladies??? Oooh, hunty! She triiied it! She really tried it!"
I even called my mom, like "Have you seen/heard this mess?! I'm going to write a blog about it! I have so many things to say!"So here I am, four months later, writing a blog about it, but with much different perspective than I had four months ago.

CHOICE

I saw a sign or a meme one day that read, "Do you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?" That's one of those things that definitely makes you go, "Hmmm...". But, how often do we challenge ourselves to go beyond the "hmmm..."? How often do we really think about who we were and who we are...who we wanted to be and who we were told to be...who we try to be and who we try not to be???

Turning "They" into "We"

For months I have been going back and forth with myself on what to write, how to write it, and when to post it. I'll start writing a post and then about midway through the post, I'll stop or I'll keep writing with absolutely no inspiration which, at that point, I'm better off stopping. I did that today. I started a post and about half way through, I lost inspiration and found myself writing just for the sake of trying to finish what I started, and I hate that. I hate writing without inspiration because it is so easy to recognize the difference between something that is written with passion and something that is written  just to be written. So, I took a break. I took a nap. I made some tea. I checked some emails. And now I am back to writing. And in that little time I took, away from writing, I realized what was going on- why I was losing the inspiration for these posts that I started with such great passion and would fizzle before I could even get out of the first paragraph. My passion was fizzling away because I was purposely trying to make a big deal out of whatever I was writing. When I decided I was going to start this blog, it was not because I wanted to make a big deal about things; it was because I wanted to share my experiences in the hopes of helping or inspiring someone along the way.

So...back to my initial thought. For months, I have been contemplating how I would write this post, how I would position it, when would be the right time to post it. Should I make it funny? Should I make it mysterious? Should I make it serious? Should I pick a special date to do it? Should I build some kind of anticipation around it? Hmmm...ain't nobody got time for that. I have written and re-written and deleted and restarted this post more times than I care to share, and after all of that I have finally realized: "There ain't nothin' to it, but to do it." So, here we go folks...

10 Seconds: Undressed, Angered, and Disappointed

Last weekend, I was in the mall when a group of young men walked by me. It was only about a 10 second interactions from the moment I saw them, the moment they saw me, and the time it took for them to actually pass me by. It was only 10 seconds...10 seconds out of the 24 hours of my day...but for me, it was 10 seconds too long- 10 seconds that set me ablaze and caused my soul to anger and my fist to clench.
How could a 10 second interaction shake my spirit so much so that days later, I can still feel the same amount of disgust just as if I was still in the moment?
It was just 10 seconds! 10 SECONDS!!!! 10 seconds out of the 86,400 I had in the day.
I'll tell you how...second by second.

30 in a 65

Three middle fingers.
Five tail-riders.
Two obnoxious hoooooooonks.
Countless awkward stairs from passer-byers.